mianhae, chingu :(

17:31

"sometimes, squabble can strenghten our bond even more tightly than before."

I hv no idea why I shud behave like that towards you.
maybe sebab dah lama tak puas hati. mcm perasaan tu berkumpul then satu masa dia pecah and effect dia memang vavavoom punya.

to be truth, aku tak pernah buat mcm tu dkt kawan, even rasa geram tu mmg menggunung tinggi. I tend to keep it for myself. only me.

then, right after that incident, I remains silence. I talk nothing with her. even duk sblah je, tapi gaya mcm ada tembok china antara kitorg. sigh. masing masing taknak mengalah. aku senyap. kau pun senyap. ego sensorang memang tahap infinity. bluerghh >.<

***

dlm tutor math.
aku mcm fikir balik pro n cons apa yg aku dh buat.
bisikan suara baik dgn jahat tgh fight dlm fikiran.

"eleh, bukan salah aku. dah betul dia menggedik cenggitu."

"memangg laa. tapi cara tu kasar sikit laagi laah. takde cara kasar lagi ke?"

Allah itu Maha Adil.
Apa yg kita buat, itu yg kita dapat.
Apa yg kita ucap, itu yg diuji,
sejauh mana kata kata yg terluah selari dgn perbuatan.
itu yg diukur. TAKE NOTE.

Astaghfirullahal azim.

at last, I lost to the bisikan yg baik. Ego meruntun. feeling of guilty kept overwhelming me.
I was more like ; OMG what hv I done? ngaaaaaa >.<
aku nak sahabat aku baliiiiik!

***

lecture bio.
I try to act normal, like we used to be before. aku ada tegur, tp tak banyak. takut tak dilayan. tak ke malu? =..="
masa tu Allah je tau perasaan bersalah tu mcmana.

I miss her voice.
I miss her laugh.
I miss her the way she used to be before this.
I miss our old precious time together.
I miss everything.

hamik kauu amirah. padan muka padan muka padan mukaa. serve you right :p

***

lab bio.
there, I could heard her laugh. even not as cheerful as before, sedikit terubat laa. I try to find some space to talk to her. anything that can drag her into the conversation.

***

finally we do be like before. alhamdulillah.
even perkataan 'maaf' & yg seangkatan dgnnye tak terlafaz.
can u see ego yg besar gedabak tu? -..-"

change, Amirah. nak marah, control. nak nasihat & tegur, biar berhikmah. Allah dh sediakn guideline, knapa nak memandai main hentam je?
thinks before talks.

***

dearie you,
Im sorry.

sinceredly,
me; kwn yg tak berapa nak berguna ://

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